ABADev blog

Dear Co-Workers,
As many of you probably know, tommorw is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Tommorow is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake – it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the year and a half, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “mostly satisfactory.” That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Caulfield: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.

To Mairead: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.

To Linda: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these “email forwards.” I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.

And finally, to Kat: you were right – I tested positive. We’ll talk later.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

Very truly yours,

Cian Kelliher

PS: I will be throwing myself a happy hour farewell party at the Oden 5.30 tommorow evening if anybody is interested in drinks!

There are two sides to a bank balance sheet: the left side and the right side.
There is nothing right on the left  side and there’s nothing left on the right side.

Заметил оригинальное: будучи в какой-то стране очень быстро “аклиматизируешься” и начинаешь есть то, что едят там, но дома никогда не ешь.

Например, этим летом в Израиле мы подсели на хумус. При отъезде специально купили его с собой. Что самое интересное, дома он не шел вообще. Весь выкинули!

И наоборот – с детства я люблю яблоки  и дома без яблок мне хана. При этом в Израиле я не съел вообще ни одного яблока.

Приблизительно такая жэе реакция на говор людей. Будучи в Тюмени в командировкая я быстро начинал окать-акать также, как и они. По возвращению домой все проходило за пару дней:-)

Причем такие мелочи происходят автоматически и как-то незаметно.